Authors are exhorted in workshop after workshop to ensure that in every scene, the main character has a goal. The character must be moving toward some objective, whether it’s to consummate wedding vows, find a particular library book, or overtake the villain’s carriage. Similarly, people approaching retirement are instructed to retire to something, not just from a job.
And lately the questions, “What am I moving toward? What am I moving away from?” have caught my interest. The whole “learn to be a therapeutic riding instructor” project is born in part out my need to feel like I’m moving toward the best version of myself, acquiring new skills, gathering new insights. Still growing. I’m also prone to move-away goals: Stay away from large gatherings, stay away from cluttered mornings, stay away from privacy pirates. Still patrolling the parapets of the self I treasure.
I tend not to set overt goals. I did not look around my writing life on a conscious level, and think, “Well, the published author thing continues to delight, but the artificial intelligence barbarians are at the gate, the pirates steal every book the day it comes out (with the affirmative support of the very wealthy AI barbarians), and the subscription model interposes powerful corporate money-suckers between author and reader–money suckers far greedier than any traditional publisher has been with me. Might have to build a fall-back plan for when relevance as an author has been obliterated.”
All of those arguments are painfully valid, and yet, what I was aware of, when I decided to pursue instructor certification, was that at the barn, I have energy. I, who am the spuddliest couch spud every to spud, could do 10,000 steps at the barn and barely notice the effort until I got back into the car. I like and respect the people there. I have wonderful, lifelong associations with horses and horse barns. Why don’t I move in that direction, but along a new path? Could be fun, could be a way to continue to make a constructive contribution.
That kind of decision is typical of me. I don’t make plans or do annual reviews or read the market in any conscious process. I think about stuff, and ponder, and question (“Why not take a look? Drop in for a session? Do a trial run?”), and then those small, noncommittal actions move me off in a specific direction. If the baby steps go well, the steps get bigger, and so on. One of the reasons I decided to try the weight loss drugs was because the apparent mandatory step–one shot a week, quit whenever you feel like it–was so small. No commitment, no publicity. Just a little experiment.
All of which is to say, that I don’t think goals are all that important for me. Every goal is an opportunity for failure, or worse, an opportunity to get sucked into a mis-guided investment of time, effort, and ego. I am more comfortable thinking instead of directions, paths, progress, learning experiments, and satisfaction. I may never, ever achieve certification as a therapeutic riding instructor, but I have already learned tons, and I am inspired to keep moving in this direction, and that is enough.
What are you moving toward or away from? Are you a goal setter or more like me–a wander in that interesting direction and see where you end up-er?
* The phrase translates to, “And yet it moves,” and is attributed to Galileo. According to tradition, he’d just finished dutifully recanting the evidence he’d gathered for the sun-centric theory of the known universe to the delight and relief of Inquisition (the Church had congratulated him on his brilliant science years before, but oh, well). He looked up at the sun, thumped his heel on the earth, and said, “And yet it moves.” History is silent on the question of what he did with his middle finger in that moment.
I’m not a goal setter either. I always hated performance reviews that included goals for the upcoming year as I never thought my job was one that lent itself to that sort of thing as my work depended upon other people needing help and I couldn’t make them need help. I also go toward something that might be interesting and try it out. For instance, I took the only required course for my Master’s program first because it was only marginally related to my interests (I’m very much a software person and this was very much a hardware class) and if I made it through, then the rest would be much easier. I almost dropped it but talked to the professor who helped me think of a project that was software-oriented but acceptable. I didn’t get an A in that class but I satisfied the requirement so I didn’t care.
Same with exercising. When I decided I really had to do something (use it or lose it), I started with a few exercises and have added others as time goes on. And amazingly, I’ve continued to do them regularly for several years now (I didn’t really expect that as I really don’t like exercise). And it really helped me with my knee replacement surgery (I had a much easier time than my younger sister had with hers).
I wonder what I will do when I retire. I want to retire TO something…. Not sure what that something is though. I want to move to something as I don’t think I could stay home 24/7.
I am a list maker and have achieved most of my goals. I’d like to travel, raise a puppy and spend time with my family.
I’d like to keep learning when I retire. Have thought about stewarding at our dog show, getting certified to judge for canine good citizen…that type of thing.
I think it’s ok to wander because you may discover something different that works for you.
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What a relief that you’re not a goal-setter, either. I cringe inwardly every time I think about “improving myself” or “aiming for more”.
I was recently reading in “Summer Romance” by Annabel Monaghan how the male main character was “moving towards what made him happy” and that seems like the perfect goal to have.
The very best part of retirement (or one of them, there are countless) is that freedom to move gradually to wards a goal that is intriguing rather than mandated. Doing something because I want to do it. I rediscovered sewing after retirement and now. I sew – pillowcases for children in hospital, baby clothes for women’s shelters, hair scrunchies for foster children, soft toys for infants and children. It is so very satisfying to take a piece of fabric and make it into something needed. All because I was curious, learned so much about construction and fabric, made new friends and found new ideas.
Good for you, Grace! It is by giving that we receive, and I think it would be marvelous to become an instructor. I volunteer with a group of handicapped children and riding brings them such joy! This is Arizona, no lack of horses around, an wonderful therapeutic riding programs in our town. I don’t ride, but I see their happy faces when they talk about their experiences. I don’t know what it is about horses, but they really touch these children deeply.
Christine, I am in awe. What a spectacular goal you have wandered into! Bless your heart and your hands that are keeping so busy for the good of someone else.
We are a goal driven society which is both a blessing and a curse. I wander through way way too many art supplies and projects, but when I get hooked, am relentless for at least a little while. And we require kids to have goals for every class. I am coo to retirement so haven’t much to lose-I told my class that my goals are to make some of the logic of geometry automatic, to help them choose problem solving processes that stand a chance of working, and to have fun. They decided I’d grown another head, then pushed me to live up to it, so the class is now participating in a Galactic Puzzle solving contest. Blessedly they care lots more than I do, but giggles of 13 yr olds are proof of goals achieved.
And congratulations on the newest books! I love
Julian…
Galileo knew recanting the Earth as Center was going to bring church-led hellfire on himself. But he also knew his calculations were correct. Damning, but correct.
I think Galileo must have been pointing with his middle finger down at his heel. How could he not?
Oh I have always been a wanderer, and it’s turned out all right. Those job interview questions –where to you see yourself in five years? always baffled me. Who knows!! Your point in your blog about– make a constructive contribution and could be fun — are the way I have always tried to look at things. I am retired now and still trying to make constructive contributions, at my own pace, and have fun. I do love Lord Julian and Hyperia, and am intrigued at the appearances of St. Sevier, Devlin St. Just, Baron St. Clair along the way as well. Also, love that orange cat with the quill pen!
Grace,I feel as if I should be paying you for your wonderful, thought provoking blog entries! They are meticulously researched on a variety of subjects and I look forward to them.
I retired via disability (forced) when I had my second back surgery. (Eight more were to follow, so I guess they were right. Forty years of nursing will do that to you.) I had no goals except to recover. But when my husband was about to retire, I started keeping a list of large and small things we decided together that we wanted to experience. I had read an article (I believe it was in an AARP magazine) that so many people make big plans for retirement, but the #1 “accomplishment “ is they watch television.
I am sorry to say, my husband has done an outstanding job of meeting—and exceeding—this goal that was NOT on our list.
I do lots of crafts, read voraciously, and lost 60 pounds. But we have not accomplished anything on our shared list.
I love my husband with every fiber of my being, so I try not to nag. If he’s happy, then I’ll be happy for him. But one item on the list was to go to see the Hammond Dam and learn about its history. The dam is only about an hour from our home and we have passed the turn-off literally hundreds of times, on our way to see his parents (now deceased) and his sister, who lives in the same town as my back surgeon. There’s always a “not today” reason and we fly by.
Whew! You should place a character or word limit on the responses to your posts! I guess I’m a goal setter who has had to wander into interesting directions. I’ve discovered free online crafting classes and purchased a calligraphy course that’s at-your-own-pace. There are hundreds of fun things I’m discovering to keep me going. Did I mention that I HATE watching television except for the evening news?
Thanks for listening and thanks for another thought provoking topic. Those kids and those horses are lucky to have you!
Thank you, Mary, for your deft words outlining so many of my thoughts!
Towards or away from… It’s a good thing to contemplate while I still can think (sorta) and still express those thoughts. And, yes, some things are no longer possible or probable. I’ve experienced crashing unprepared into a few roadblocks, not back surgery, thankfully, let alone eight, but bed rest anyone?
My husband drafts (simple) wills for a living along with certain powers of attorney and medical care directives. I should know better.
Grace, you mention the baby steps, and I expect my “goals” should be more of the “If/then” baby step variety. Our son has mentioned that in terms of working out. He says he starts with laying his clothes out. If he manages that, that’s enough. Then, if he makes it into the gym, he allows himself to leave, if he can’t face more…
And the answer to the interview question, where would you like to see yourself in five years, is not “alive,” especially if it’s a teaching interview.
I think I am a lot like you in this way, Grace. Right now I am currently meandering in a new direction, letting myself explore the subject widely and not force a path or commitment. It may never result in a paying job but with some time, I think I will find the way to a version that becomes imbedded in my life that gives me great satisfaction. Along the way I am meeting interesting people and learning new things, so I take it as a win.