To earn the therapeutic riding instructor certification I’m pursuing takes a lot of steps. One requirement is for volunteer hours at a certified therapeutic riding facility, another is student teaching hours. You must also spend time demonstrating your knowledge of horse care for both well and unwell horses. A first aid certification figures early in the process as does a test of professional standards applicable to the discipline.
The list is long and complicated, and one of the items near the end is a video of you “demonstration teaching” a particular riding pattern.
In the twenty minutes allotted for this exercise, you as the instructor are supposed to hit about a 100 points of riding pedagogy. How exactly do we cue the horse to shift from standing still to walking? Walking to trotting? Trotting back to walking?
Blah, blah, blah, and the video cannot be edited in any manner. You either nail this video, or you are denied permission to take the final tests. No pressure.
I am very fortunate that another barn friend is working toward certification at the same time I am. We were airing our frustrations recently–this process is demanding–and he asked me, “So what will you get our demonstration rider by way of a thank you gift?”
Huh? “Erm… I’ll have to give that some thought.” [Our demonstration rider deserves the very best Gran Prix jumper on the planet.)
My friend went off on a flight about gift baskets, gift certificates, maybe both, and of course the videographer deserves a thank you too. For her he had another bushel of keen thank you ideas.
I felt kinda slapped up side the head. He was thinking of thank yous, I was thinking of my next heartfelt bellyache. At another point in our discussions, he mentioned that he’d bought a bottle of champagne to open when he completed all of his pre-final test requirements.
Not for when he earned the certification, which he will do, but for when he was staring down the barrel of the final exam.
“What if you flunk?” I asked, because about a third of the people taking the test do flunk, and every one of those good souls completed all the preliminary rigamarole I’m still grinding away at.
“I’ve flunked so many tests in my life. I’ll take the stinkin’ thing again if I have to. They let you do that.”
My friend has cultivated something beyond a growth mindset. He has that, certainly, but he’s also looking for opportunities to be appreciative and grateful, looking for reasons to celebrate. Looking for solutions rather than focusing on problems and decks 
that feel stacked.
He has been an inspiration to me, in that we are both trying to solve a problem–how do I get this certification?–but his process is more joyous, grateful, and optimistic than mine. That might be partly personality, but it’s also an attitude that can be cultivated.
This is me, going shopping for some bubbly!
Have you ever been honkin’ along, just doing your usual, when somebody brings you up short with the example they set or the outlook they adopt?
PS: The (formerly) Elusive Earl is now available in print, from the web store, and from the usual retail suspects!
I love this story, Grace! I always so admire people like this, because celebration is certainly not my mindset. My focus is on putting my head down and ensuring, and slogging through. How wonderful to approach challenges with a sense of openness and acceptance
I could learn a lot from him!
Yes and no. My longtime partner is kind of the opposite of me in temperament and general outlook. I’m an introvert and an eldest child and I’ve always said I have all the negative characteristics of same. I worry about almost everything. He, on the other hand, tends to think everything will work out fine. Both of us are sometimes wrong and sometimes right. It’s good for me to see but I admit it can be maddening, too, sometimes.
Happy Easter, Grace from Jan in Brisbane Australia. No champagne, I’m afraid, but a champagne moment for me this Easter Sunday, when I turned on my radio to hear “ That We, Like Sheep”. Instantly, I was transported to a snowy road leading to Morelands with Louisa, her irreverent Joseph and little Kit, snuggled warmly under coats and cloaks. Rosebud, Wursthaven and Lord Lacey Pants were singing Handel and I just loved that this was my first image on hearing Handel’s glorious music. I know that Joseph christened the Windham “ boys “ in a later novel, but I loved his irreverent sense of humour.
Thank you Grace for so many years of quality, well-crafted reading magic. Since discovering “ Soldier” in 2011, I have purchased every book you have released and loved them all. The Windham family, with Percy and Esther leading their dynasty, have always been my favourites – old friends I enjoy revisiting. Thank you for your Bad Heir series – I have just devoured The Elusive Earl and enjoyed the trip back to Scotland and new friends. I await Leopold St Didier’s novel! Surely a grateful monarch could restore his family’s honours in return for Leopold’s heroic actions? I live in hope.
Gratefully, your enthusiastic reader, Jan Cox
Your colleague approach is very uplifting and refreshing although I must confess I’ve never had it.
But two days ago -and before reading your post- I had a significant insight: there is a certain past experience that I have always felt as a failure on my part and out of the blue came this insight and I saw that experience knowing and feeling that “I did it well!”…kind of seeing the same landscape but from the hill of the top. My whole perception has been rearranged.
And so I like that your colleague’s attitude is celebrating without being naïve.
I don’t always get to click through and read your columns, Grace, so doing so today was an unexpected and beneficial example of being brought up short and encouraged to look at things from a different perspective. Thank you. Your story is essentially a reminder to see the glass as half-full, rather than half-empty, something I think many of us need to remember sometimes. Enjoy your well-earned bubbly!
Gosh yes. I have been floored how some people take utmost joy in tests and challenges, always smiling. While I’m a human Eeyore, grousing about whatever!
I am having a TERRIBLE time getting your books in paperback or trade PRINT.
b&n IS ONLY CARRYING THE lORD jULIAN SERIES ON nOOK
Amazon only seems to have e-books &
when I went to buy from Jane: when I got thru 11 pages & found a title I wanted, it no longer indicated a paper book.
DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP ON YOU?
Ur devoted but very frustrated fan, Carol
Carol,
I emailed you links to the Ingram Spark print versions of the first four titles. I am behind the curve getting the rest of the series the proper cover formats and file uploads so Ingram can distribute them. I promise I will do better going forward (or his lordship will have words with me, I know…).
Comment to Carol: Try the used book sites for paperbacks? I use abebooks.com mostly, which is a subsidiary of Amazon, but there are others. I am happy to have Grace’s books in digital format, but I love library quality picture books and have not yet got the hang of playing the piano from a tablet.
Carol: For print, (for when you can’t get a book directly from Grace’s store), Bookshop.org has paperback copies of Lord Julian books, or try going to your local bookstore and see if they can order it for you. Bonus: It is Independent Bookstore Day this weekend! For used books, non-Amazon options are Biblio.com and Better World Books.
I find I do not have generous impulses very often, it is something I am working on because I value generosity and would like to be a celebratory person and I think right now we need to be generous with ourselves and others as much as possible. Currently I am reading The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer and am holding the concept of a gift economy, among others, to inspire myself to grow not just away from a productivity above all else trap but toward reciprocity and gratitude. Wish me luck!