My paternal grandmother was a widow with a baby at age nineteen, her husband having been a casualty of World War I. She married two more times, ditched both (drunken, philandering) husbands before divorce was popular, and at age sixty, opened up a candy store that would support her adequately until she died in her eightieth year. My maternal grandma welcomed her first born into the world in a tent at Joe Junior mining camp, and gave birth to her last-born at age 45.
These women were handed some mighty daunting challenges and had little choice but to Cope. I am much more privileged. I could choose whether to go back to school (twice); choose to be a single mom (once); choose to close the law practice and rely on writing to support myself. Compared to my grannies, and to so many other people, I am the veriest little tadpole in the life challenges department.
So I realize that deciding to attempt the therapeutic riding instructor certification was both an exercise in privilege (in many ways), and a pretty tame effort as challenges go. I have plenty of positive experiences with learning goals. I have been around horses for decades. I had great support going into the venture, and found more support along the way. A walk in the pasture–right?
Well… yes, and not quite. I have never tried to master a large body of book learning with a geriatric brain. I have never taken on substantial physical challenges at this age, and while losing a lot of weight too quickly. I have never had to do much teaching–a few piano students, some writing workshops, a few conflict management seminars–and none of those experiences involved the dangerous instrumentality that is the horse. My attitude going in, “I can do this…” morphed into, “I hope I can do this,” and then, “I’m not sure I can do this.”
As I drove over the hills to take my final test, though, it occurred to me that getting the certification might not be the point. Because I aimed at that goal, I took my hearing loss more seriously. It’s hard to understand somebody who is speech-impaired when you have good hearing. Try it without the upper frequencies, and you’re at a disadvantage as an instructor.
I took my physical health and especially strength more seriously. A therapeutic riding instructor has to get disabled people on and off of horses safely, and that means everything from grip strength to upper body strength to walking stamina matters. Most significantly, I took a harder look at my cognitive health. Lion’s Mane supplements seem to help with my recall and retention–who knew?
The first and primary beneficiary of my jaunt down the riding instructor path was me. I learned a lot of material that interests me, I am taking better care of myself, and I flexed my ability to ask for help (not one of my strengths). My goal was to qualify for a certification, but in hindsight, I think my goal should have been simply to challenge myself. Pass, fail, or try, try again, the challenge itself has done me a power of good.
And–icing on the cupcake–I did pass that final exam on the first try. Phew!
How do challenges figure in your life? Always on the lookout for good ones? Had quite enough of them, thank you? Somewhere in between?
I’ve definitely had enough challenges already and am enjoying the luxury of being retired and without a mortgage. However, in these times, being a woman is even more of a challenge than it used to be. I’m old enough that Roe v. Wade was the law while I was of childbearing age but I am so sad for my great-nieces who are stuck in this current reality where more and more of their rights are being taken away. And both the hypocrisy and the whininess of those currently in positions of power is so draining, as they seem to work actively to destroy the best parts of our country. Somedays just watching the news without falling to despair is a huge challenge (and one I wish I could avoid).
Many congratulations on your final exam results!
I have the same angst. I was born into a world where birth control was still illegal in many states for many people. Women could not study at the Ivy’s, could not get credit in their own name, could be legally fired for being pregnant… I’m not seeing young women in the flat out panic that going backward ought to inspire (much less young men), but then, they are too busy trying to hang onto any sort of affordable health care, affordable housing, affordable education… challenging times!
Good for you, Grace in passing the test!
But I’m much more excited for the other benefits you got out of this. Better health and better cognition? PRICELESS (ask me how I know- ha. I know YOU know how I know)
And it sounds like flexing in asking for help represents a social benefit, probably improving your interpersonal interactions.
Sounds like a great trifecta to me!!
Congrats on all of it.
Thanks, Make Kay. Your situation in particular has been on my mind lately. Test-schmest. The passing mark was not what mattered most. Not nearly.
Better health has been my challenge the past few years.
I was tired and weak after chemo & challenged myself to eat better & walk.
My neighbor walked with me and we went out in good weather, bad weather & in between weather.
Started off with a 1/2 mile and now I walk 3 miles easily. I feel better and sleep better.
Am trying to cut way back on sugar and carbs- with some success.
Trying new recipes can be fun and soup season is right around the corner.
I haven’t mastered these challenges so am continuing to challenge myself!!
Congratulations on passing the certification exam!!
I think chemo and all that implies qualifies you to pass on all challenges going forward forever, but here you are… I don’t walk three miles “easily” many days, but I can patch it together in several shorter jaunts most days, and I’m also trying to get protein into the menu. Thank heavens for cottage cheese and high quality yogurt!
Grace, since I am a few years older than you, I also experienced those issues. My mother, who already had 5 children born less than 6 years apart without multiples (though she actually wanted us to be close in age) could not get birth control in the 1960s because it was illegal in Mass. Fortunately, my Dad was in the Air Force and an AF doctor prescribed it for her.
And, personally, in the early 1970s when I was in my 20s and working full time while my now ex-husband was in grad school, I applied for a credit card. Since I’m an eldest child and basically honest, I did mark that I was married but it was obvious the income was all mine. Guess whose name was on the credit card when it came, and I don’t mean with a “Mrs.” in front even. That still makes me angry!
Congratulations on all the successes you have achieved as you stretched yourself in pursuing new goals!
I, too, went back to school to pursue a career in medicine, entering medical school at 43, and starting practice st 50. To me, it seemed I was reaching my potential in a way that was not possible when I first went to college. Now, I’m retired from practice, and gaining new skills in an entirely different direction.
To stop growing, is to start dying. As my grandmother died at 97, and her grandmother at 104, I’ve seen that people who continue to grow, adapt to changes (even in themselves), are happier and contribute to the happiness of their families and friends. As I anticipate another 20+ years of life, I realize that I must continue to learn and grow, which I pray will keep me living at home, not in a “nursing home”. Blessings to you in your endeavors!
Wow. I have a friend who started law school at age 47. Last I heard, she was still practicing into her 80’s, and she was always a particularly fierce advocate. I think the late start gave her focus and purpose that those moseying along on the more conventional schedule don’t usually have.
Congratulations for stretching yourself *and* for passing your final exam on the first try!
The lady told me I passed and I about hugged her. I was soooooo relieved. I did not want to face the, “Do I give up or re-test?” question because giving up was a real option.
I would like to try Lion’s Mane. I looked it up and there were a whole lot of choices out there. Would you mind telling me what you take?
My cognitive issue is mostly having to wait to remember something – it usually pops up within a few minutes at the most but it annoys me.
I take the organic version sold under my food Co-op’s “Common Market” label. I have examined the label with a magnifying glass and cannot find WHO formulates it for them. I trust the Co-Op to sell only good quality products, especially under their own label. They do not that I know of ship mail orders.
Sometimes a challenge finds you. Just retired from teaching because it was time for many reasons not the least being I was so tired. For several years I was told it was age, BP, heart, but multiple tests and no real answers. Now a different test that shows autoimmune issues, most likely lupus. Funny but just knowing there is a real reason for always being tired and other issues has been a relief. Now to figure out how to live with this in my carefree retirement. I guess we choose some challenges and some are handed to us.
What you said (and I can hear Sue nodding). I hope you got the Lupus Lite version of the ailment. You are not the first person I’ve heard of who waited years to get a diagnosis. When I complained (why is that the verb?) of chronic exhaustion in my forties I got the whole, “You’re getting older, you’re a single working mom, you need to look at your diet and get serious about exercise…”
I was SCREAMINGLY anemic, both for iron and B12. The most common nutritional deficiency in American women, and I got the lecture instead of the blood test. I only learned that I was anemic because I wanted to do a plasma donation and flunked the iron test.
Congratulations on passing the test! All the extra goodies involved (hearing aids, strengthening exercises, exercising your brain by learning new things, exercise in general, learning to ask for help) are all things I/we let slide because life is “easier” when we avoid all of that. Then we suddenly find out how weak our brain and muscles have become because we have become lazy.
Lazy, or just tired of incessant striving? Somewhere, there’s a balance, but it’s a moving target and very hard to hit!
Congratulations! Well done, Grace!
I started taking a very gentle strength class, having lost a lot of muscles coming out of a few years dominated by health issues. Then to my surprise as I started to feel stronger so many other physical things started to improve and it reminded me to keep pushing myself. I used to do new things frequently and that dropped off as parenting then parenting in quarantine happened then health problems. Your experience is great inspiration to keep challenging myself and look for the unexpected benefits to help keep motivated.
I will never forget a fit, hale, (OK, handsome) young personal trainer saying he was happy to see all the twenty- and thirty-somethings flocking to the gym and zumba and Pilates and and and, but it was their fifty-and-sixty something moms who NEEDED access to strength training at whatever level they could start it. Exactly as you say, strength work plugs into balance, stamina, immune response, inflammation, metabolic issues, sleep… and I am one of those older ladies who needs to do more of it!
Congratulations Grace! I have some experience with Therapeutic Horseback Riding. I lead a group of students from the special needs school I worked at to a well established program so I didn’t have the certification but I got to share my OT/PT knowledge, and learn from the team of staff and volunteers. I also got to play with the sweetest group of horses you’d ever want to encounter.
Therapy horses are magic, and those PT/OT/SLPs are pretty amazing too!
Yay for you!
I think finding worthy challenges and staying engaged is absolutely essential to give our lives purpose as we age. Of course, injury, illness, and aging can interrupt our plans and require dedication to surmount. I think you were brave to take on the challenge
and I’m delighted that you reaped so many benefits as a result.
You are a giver and your new work will enable you to give in a new way with your hard won expertise.
Thanks, Susan. I am delighted too. I made my daughter proud of me, and when is that ever less than wonderful?
Congratulations on your certificate in horse riding trading! I hope the joy you have in yourself waves out to everyone you meet.
I’ve had so many hard challenges but the one most important was working with women religious. For many reasons, as a young novice and then a professed religious, I learned the lesson of “don’t be proud and congratulate yourself for success.”
Until the day a religious superior(!!) suggested that my ideas of relegious work didn’t coinside with the community’s idea and after 24 and a half years of saying yes to the higher authorities I should leave their community.
My first thoughts – I’ve failed – but with support and accepting my many good works thoughout the years, I am now one of the happiest, self-assured,creative and eager to continuing learning (even after completing a Doctoral program) 84 yrs young women in the world. Challenges can lead to failure if we let them. But the joy and selfsatisfaction of trying is the more positive outcome and can make you delirious with joy.
Congratulations to you! Pursuing your certification in order to assist others has led to renewed health and self confidence. I often struggle with that very first deliberate choice. I have a few close friends who help me move beyond thinking to action.