An experienced foster mom once said to me, “I know the kids are going to be alright when I hear them laughing. Some of them have taken months to laugh, one poor little guy never did. But once they laugh–provided it’s a good, hearty, silly laugh–I can relax a little.”
I was reminded of her wisdom when my daughter was dealing with some awful adolescent turbulence. The medication was making things worse, she was growing more isolated in part out of a mutual decision to try home schooling. I was doing everything I knew to do–counseling, horse barn, psychiatrist–and nothing seemed to be turning the situation around (it did turn around, eventually). I was puttering along downstairs, and I heard her up in her room laughing. Haw-haw-haw, ridiculous laughing.
I had assigned her one of Dave Barry’s novels, probably Big Trouble, and she had succumbed to his comedic magic. To speak humorously is a gift, to write humorly is a superpower, and Mr. Barry had my depressed, troubled, “at risk” daughter in stitches. I wrote him the sappiest fan letter an author ever did write to anybody. He made my kid laugh for what might have been the first time in months.
Yesterday at the therapeutic riding barn a couple of the other instructors and I were tasked with desensitizing one of the horses to a rider mounting and dismounting using a mechanical lift. I volunteered to be the “rider,” in part because I want to know what a student has to deal with when they use that device to get on or off a horse. I also wanted to be helpful, and–honestly–these days, I’ll take any excuse to sit on a horse.
The horse was an absolute, utter champ. He stood like an equine testament to eternity while I went up and down, over and around in the lift. Brushed him with my boots on the withers and croup, jabbered, swung my legs like an excited eight-year-old, and that horse did not flick an ear. The mental image of the chorus line from Robinhood: Men in Tights popped into my head, because the lift is on a track, and you can swing yourself to the left or swing to the right, step-behind-step-kick. step-behind-step-twirl…
Which I did. Hilarity ensued, and the whole rest of the day, I heard the Men in Tights chorus in my head, and one of the other instructors referring to me as “Tinkerbell.” Even writing this, the memory makes me chortle.
Maybe this is the disarming absurdity of the Portland Frog, or it’s the kid in all of us taking charge for a few moments. I do not know what the secret sauce about laughter is, but I know when I can really and truly laugh, I’m a happier person. I have a little more courage, a little more self-appreciation, and I feel a little safer in my identity.
Who or what has recently tickled your funny bone? Do you have any memories of joyful laughter popping up when least expected? My family got the giggles on the way to my grandma’s funeral, and I know nobody would have approved more heartily of that loss of decorum than Grandma herself!
What a great mental image, Grace- of you, suspended over the horse, doing a chorus line kick. And now “I” have Men in Tights (TIGHT tights) going through my head. Thank you for my morning silly.
The think I love best about my spouse is that he makes me laugh. Humor is so important for our brains, and I know as adults we often forget that.
I might have to watch the whole movie again (as soon as I get the next Lord Julian complete in draft). Then I’ll do the Eroll Flynn version of Robinhood, because that one has some zingers too!
Greg made me laugh this morning in nosework. As you know he is small and maybe a bit chubby! The hide was on a chair arm. Most of the dogs in class found the hide by going in front of the chair to indicate. Greg travelled behind the chair and stuck his head through the arm of the chair and smiled and I I aced! He got there…just in a different way!
I can remember Jenny laughing while she watched tv or read a book! Such joy.
Have a good week!!
My kitties make me laugh frequently, especially the interactions between the seniors and their more active younger friends. The looks…
I have laughed out loud a few times recently but I cannot remember what they were. I either saw something in an article on the internet or on a TV show. Since the only possibly humorous TV show I watch these days is “Saturday Night Live” (I know it wasn’t during last night’s show since I was really disappointed in it) and my favorite part is usually “Weekend Update,” it was probably something one of those guys said. Or maybe it was in a book though I’ve been reading a paranormal (witches) cozy mystery series lately so probably not. Anyway, I appreciate laughter and sometimes my partner can make me laugh (of course, sometimes he can annoy me, too). And one of these days I’m going to have to watch “Robinhood: Men in Tights.”
It has aged much better than Blazing Saddles, methinks, but then, I am a sucker for guys who dance.
Pride & Prejudice amused me as a young teen. I found it more relevant in my late teens and howled when, as a family, it was read aloud on a road trip, at twenty-five.
I have read Dave Barry’s “Bad Song Book” many times. I also keep a copies of “Christmas in the South, Or If You Can’t Fry It, Spray Paint It Gold,” “Twisted Tales from Shakespeare,” “Non-Campus Mentis: World History for College Students,” and “I Want to Go Home,” around for laughs.
Patrick McManus’ columns were particularly relevant in this part of the country. I assigned his books to reluctant readers of a certain type. My own kids lack the background for much of what I find/found hysterical. What one generation finds “disarming(ly) absurd,” another finds just straight strange, if not in poor taste.
I don’t laugh often, but my inner child is often amused.
Oh, do I ever agree with you, Grace! I tend to laugh and people tend to laugh around me and there have been times in my life on long road trips when I have had to pull over for safety reasons because my friend or friends and I have tears rolling down our faces from laughter. Here is a true story I shared with my doctor today at my Medicare Wellness visit. One of the questions was about leaking urine. Okay you know, I’m sure, what can happen during some episodes of explosive laughter after a certain age.. 80 in my case. Well, I told my doctor today that there was a long family history on my mother’s side of this problem and that my great, great aunt Sally had told my mother to never take an extended car trip without toilet paper in her hat! Well, my doctor just put his head back and roared. I can just imagine the laughter in that office as the day progressed.
Keep on laughing, Grace! Your writing reflects your sense of humor and it’s one many reasons you are probably my all time favorite author.
Well, there’s also Dave Barry…
Last week my husband had a medical procedure involving his heart. While we were assured that the procedure was performed by this doctor “hundreds of times a year” and that it has a 98% success rate, for goodness sake, it’s his heart!!! Needless to say I was a nervous wreck. The nearly 9 hours we spent waiting, for the procedure to be over, to hear from the doctor, to be told he was in recovery, to finally (finally!) get to see him in the ambulatory surgery suite, was excruciating. But our daughter sat with me the entire time, talking to me about her job, her friends, the animals she treats…anything and everything to keep me distracted. At times I wondered what the rest of the people in the waiting room thought about our constant giggles and guffaws. I would not have survived the experience but for the laughter she prompted. I’m happy to say that the procedure went well, we all survived the experience, but the laughter is what got us through. A friend once asked me what my husband of 47 years and my “love language” was. I’d never heard that expression before. Now, I know, the love language of my family is laughter…definitely laughter. Stay safe. Stay well everyone!
Animal videos, particularly cat ones, make me laugh out loud. Instant feel-good feelings.
Oh, good belly laughs are to be treasured! One of my absolute favorite memories growing up is. . .
I was probably about 10 years old and my parents took all three of the kids (13, 10 and 7) out to dinner in a semi-nice restaurant. My dad, who rarely told jokes, started telling us one he’d heard at work (IBM).
“Guy comes home Saturday evening and tells his wife he was exhausted from playing a round of golf. The wife asks “What was such a big deal?”
“Well, we got to the first tee and Charley had a heart attack and died right there.” “ Oh, dear,” says the wife. “how awful!”
“It was,” says the husband. “All day long, we had to hit the ball, drag Charley. Hit the ball, drag Charley!”
It’s a horrible joke, (and if it seems inappropriate, feel free to take it down) but for some reason, it got all of us laughing and we couldn’t stop. First, we all laughed at the joke, then we got laughing at each other because we couldn’t stop. The more we laughed—all of us!— the more we were unable to stop. When my mom laughed so hard she started to snort, that put us over the edge right there. We finally had to leave the restaurant with our meals half finished because my parents didn’t want us to keep annoying others trying to eat. We laughed the whole way home! My parents are long gone, but if any of us wants to get our siblings going, just start with “Hit the ball. . . “
Sorry this is so long, but what a memory this topic has meant. Thanks so much, Grace! And you look great going through your paces on that lift. And you are so SKINNY! You look terrific! Well done!
My husband has a very bossy cousin we’ll call Ann. Yesterday he invoked Ann as he accused me of trying to boss him around: “We’ll just dig a little hole.” Her advice as to what another cousin could do when she couldn’t afford a gravesite for her estranged husband. The little hole was going to be on my parents-in-law’s site with the large gravestone for immediate family’s names. I thought husband was going to blow a gasket struggling to not say anything to that. No little holes were dug.
Ever since, we’ll just dig a little hole causes snort laughter from me and such a look on his face.
Grace, I love the picture. You look very good in tights! You’ve been on such a journey with the weight loss, therapeutic riding, and now #1 on Amazon new releases. Good for you. I hope you get to spend time with your grandchild soon.
Thanks for sharing this! This weekend my neighbor hosted a tea party for the women on our little street, and six of us were able to attend. She had baked wonderful treats, set the table with seasonal dishes, linens and decorations, and spent the better part of three days putting it all together. The best part was sitting around her table, laughing with my neighbors–some of whom I just met today. I won’t remember my To-Do List from this weekend, but I will remember the giggles with my neighbors for a long time.