One of my junior high social studies teachers would, when his lesson plan ran short, have us play the map game toward the end of class. He’d pull down the big world map in the front of the room (Mercator distortion view of course), put a student on either side, and call out a country or capital. The first kid to find that location was challenged by the next kid and so forth.
The competitive aspect of the game was distasteful to me, and I realize now that the game was easily biased. The teacher simply had to pick eastern locations to favor the student on the right side of the map, and so on.
But that big world, with all the strange names, different colors, enormous mountain ranges and huge seas… I liked knowing where everything went on that world.
Fast forward to any weekday morning, when I’m reading the daily newsletter from International Intrigue, (“Your cheeky guide to what’s going on in the world…”) and I am frequently stumped. Yes, El Salvador is in Central America, but is it north or south of Nicaragua? (North, and no shared border with Nicaragua). Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania are all stacked on top of each other, but in what order? (Alphabetical from the north.)
Because I was so frequently flummoxed about a world map I once knew pretty well, I made myself a little rule: If I don’t know where a place is, I will look it up. I might not remember next time what I found this time, but that just means I’ll look it up again. I am gradually getting the -stans sorted, along with west central Africa, and southeast Asia.
On the one hand, I am ashamed of my ignorance. Do better, Grace Ann. On the other hand, I notice that my life is full of personal micro-rules, some worthwhile, some ridiculous. When I’m shopping, I observe the “never take the last one” rule, because the pandemic left me with some lingering tendencies to hoard and to “shop anxious.” I don’t want to be the reason some tired parent goes home empty-handed when the Vandal Horde expects the three cheese, stuffed crust home-baked pizza dinner.
On social media, if I draft and edit the same comment three times, I’m not allowed to post the comment. I’m probably arguing with a bot or a troll anyway, and denying FB one more piece of engagement data about me is always the better course. My other rule about social media is never, ever let that crap blight the beginning or end of the day.
These micro-rules reflect my values: Be a responsibly informed citizen of the earth. Think of others. Guard my peace of mind, but don’t be an ostrich. Don’t be greedy, balance legitimate fears with common sense and compassion….
And somehow not taking the last pizza is supposed to be a contribution to a better tomorrow? I dunno, but it’s enough if exercising a little restraint contributes to a better Grace today.
Do you have micro-rules, even if they would make no sense to anybody else, and are sometimes honored in the breach?
The one that comes to mind first is “don’t worry about what you cannot change.” Boy, do I break that one a lot since I have a lot of concerns about the state of the world, both political and environmental, and I worry a lot about it all. I do the things I can, and I think it’s about as much as anybody else, but I wish I could do more. Actually, I wish I could be in charge for a short while (I don’t want a job) so I could do a quick fix and everything would then be wonderful, at least for a little bit. Delusional much?
When we are queens of the universe, there will be no pets left in the shelters, no hungry children, no lonely elders, no teachers who feel frustrated and unappreciated, no billionaires squandering earth’s climate health… we will be very busy, but when we’re done, we shall have cupcakes with sprinkles to go with our perfect cups of tea. Or something.
I’m sure I have my own rules but they are so ingrained I don’t think about them. One would be don’t answer back. We all see nasty or snarky comments on the internet. Don’t react. It only encourages more of the same.
What you said. Don’t feed the trolls.
There’s a daily game called WORLDLE (yes, the extra L) that I’ve been doing for a few years and it has greatly helped me learn my countries. Not the point of your post, I realize, but thought I’d share anyway!
Oh, this looks like a lovely little addition to my jig saw puzzle breaks. Thanks!
https://worldle.teuteuf.fr/
Yes, queens of the Universe – I love it!
A former people pleaser, now that I’m getting up there in age (turning 80 soon – not in my head though, ha, ha), I am working on not worrying about what others think. Still a work in progress, but I’m happy that I’m making progress with my new goal.
I work on this one too–not worrying about what others think, but still caring about how they feel. Quite the balancing act.
My dad taught me one of his: Charity doesn’t count if anyone else learns about it. Get discovered & you need to pick a new deed to do &/or a new recipient. No buildings named after us, but stuff has been done for people or organizations that needed it. He’d tell me, “Cast your bread on the waters without expecting it to head back upstream to you. If we all do it, there might be a few crumbs headed in your direction if you end up downstream from the other fellow some day. Don’t expect it, but be grateful as hell if you receive it.”
The one situation where we’re not supposed to let our left hand know what our right hand is doing. I like Dad’s outlook!
Say “thank you for…” -even if the dinner wasn’t tasty or the route the one I’d planned or the flowers planted where I would’ve put them. And the one that saved our marriage, “ You were right and I was wrong, so wrong.” By one gets to the so wrong, there’s usually at least a bit of a grin on both of our faces.
What are those twelve words? I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. I think there’s a book about this?
I have so many that I don’t know which one to share. Since I don’t get this until Monday afternoon no one is going to see it anyway.
Not true. I will see it, and there are a number of readers who mosey by later in the week. Believe it or not, Google tells me that hundreds of people see this blog every week. C’mon, Sue. Give us just one!
Sue is sooo wrong. I love coming back to get inspiration, encouragement, & smiles from everyone else’s posts. Anyone hesitating, post away! We’ll see you.
I’ve never heard of the term micro-rules. My dad was full of them (never leave the room without turning off the lights etc.) but I’m not sure I am very aware of my own. I try to make my bed as soon as I get up so then I have accomplished one thing and that makes starting my day a little easier. I try to fill the gas tank when the weather is tolerable so I don’t have to do it in a storm. Armed with the term and concept I’ll need to pay attention and notice my others. I’m sure if I asked my husband he would probably have a ready list of my “quirks”.
1992: no diapers on a saturday night and 3 months old daughters. (a no Amazon Prime nor riders era). Searching the whole town for the one open pharmacy (no late night open shopping in Italy, still). Because of that event I still shop 2 pieces of everything (and no shopping list). They say I am prepared for the zombie apocalypse 🙂
Great question. one rule: hold that door and smile
My micro rule on social media is basically “no comments” not sure why, but I rarely break it. I enjoy a few groups for native flowers or photography where I post. I do like to do jigsaw puzzles, sometimes on jigsawexplorer, where I can then use google earth to go find the angle the photograph was taken from & see it in “real space”. Another rule, not so micro, is to walk my dog in the morning, without fail, though on occasion only a couple of blocks if it’s blowing a blizzard.
Love your work, think you are probably the most intellectually exercised romance writer around.
Strange question as I think you don’t choose much of the trappings of your novels but is it possible to change you cover images from the over exercised men to q regular guy with useful muscles? Some of those guys are bordering on the ridiculous! The cover of the piano player(Valentine?) as an overmuscled hunk of beef is especially egregious as I know lots of piano players, and while their nuscles are quite efficient, the muscles seen on the cover page would get in the way of serious piano playing!