People who train horses quickly get wise to the notion that horses can spot patterns better than people can spew words. Horses also get cause and effect. “If I trot off smoothly when she bumps her calves against my sides, she strokes my shoulder. Yay! If I sidle away from the mounting block, she moves the block close to the rail, so I can’t sidle anywhere. Boo!”
Because horses do pick up on patterns, most riders are very careful about certain moments in a training ride. When do you let your horse go from the working phase of the ride to the cool down phase? Ideally, when he has just been a very good boy, of course. Even if the ride has been largely frustrating, you find something for him to do that he can handle well.
My daughter (who is 5 foot 8) with her wee pony
Old Thunderbolt will think, “I changed my canter lead in the middle of the arena and then I got to walk. Walking is easy!” He will be more alert for that change-the-lead cue in the subsequent rides, because it might mean easier work is ahead.
When do you end the ride and hop down? After more good behavior, if at all possible. When do you put him into his stall after the ride? When he’s being calm and mannerly, NOT when he barges down the barn aisle like a tank in overdrive.
The moments when what naturally follows feels like a reward to a horse have to be carefully considered, lest you set the horse up to think that lagging, jigging, bucking, crow-hopping and other tiresome naughtiness is what yields results the horse likes.
I am not a horse, but in my typical day, the same kind of, “Choose consciously” moments appear. When I sit down at the computer early in the day, my first cuppa tea steaming to my right, my mouse pad to the left… I have two options: I can jump right into my work in progress, or I can read two newsletters and then jump into my work in progress. Pretty much any other course–solitaire, yesterday’s sales, a jig saw puzzle, scrubbing that cruddy spot where a muddy cat brushed against the kitchen cabinet…
Not smart, Grace Ann. That is asking to end the day admitting in my journal that, “The morning got away from me.” The whole morning did not get away from me, but that one moment, fingers poised above the keyboard, mouse ready to click, very much got off on the wrong foot.
Another tricky moment occurs in the early afternoon, when I’ve done my writing for the day (I hope, I hope), checked email, and dealt with any financial matters. Then what? This is the time to get away from the computer, take on a few house chores, go for a walk, and get my head free of the to-do list. If I don’t, if I yield to the jig saw puzzles and FB doomscroll (once a day, and I try to keep it under 20 minutes), I usually don’t get anything worthwhile done, but I also set myself up for a dull, fretful evening.
The time to goof off, for me, is late afternoon. I can let myself–or sometimes force myself–to frolic and detour, watch a horse video, read a physical book, or research the history of Wellington boots, and then as evening rolls around, I might have more juice for say, writing blog posts, updating the web site, or doing other not-very-creative work-work.
I don’t need to think so much of scheduling my whole day. If I want to keep a balance between productivity and pleasure, between focus and freedom, I just need to manage some of those critical moments, when I will transition from one phase of the day to another. If I let the moment slide by and take the path of least resistance, then the rest of the day often goes sliding by as well and that’s not how I most like to manage my spoons.
Does your day have moments you have to manage a little more carefully? Little windows that can sneak your time away in the wrong direction or set you up for a nice steady trot down the preferred to-do list?
Monday-Friday mornings are pretty structured for me as I am still working. I try to manage my time carefully- I work my tough tasks first, take a break and focus on the rest of my work.
Weekends seem to go by quickly.
It’s too icy and cold to walk- and I miss this part of my routine.
I let the dogs out, feed them & make my breakfast. Yesterday, I ran errands in the morning and went out for an appointment in the afternoon.
I am finding that not walking can set me up to be a in cranky mood- need the time to reset.
I think part of it that I need a breather.. just a bit of time to myself.
I am trying to spend time in the afternoon reading or watching tv.. the laundry can wait!
I need to get up and do my yoga and other exercises immediately or they don’t happen
I am displeased with myself by the end of the day and typically much less exercise or anything else gets accomplished. Getting up and exercising is my most critical moment. Even very reasonable exceptions result in a much less productive or happy day.
Like Susan Brown, I do my exercises first thing, otherwise they don’t get done. Then sitting at the computer to play Solitaire and read my emails is a reward and I don’t have to feel guilty. I know as a retired person that I really don’t need to feel guilty at all as long as I remember to eat and do laundry and pay my bills, but I’ve still got that eldest child and must-be-productive thing I have to battle against. I established my routine after discovering that, yes, if I don’t exercise first thing then it keeps slipping away until it’s bedtime and it doesn’t get done at all. Before noon is “me time” and then after lunch I tackle adult tasks (even though I still want to say “do I gotta?”).
Loved reading about all this “horsey-ness”, Grace.
I want to be inspired by the people above who do the hard stuff first, but alas, I’m not good at following my own promises to “get stuff done”. Instead, for the last year or two, I’ve started my day with reading in bed for an hour or two with a cup of cocoa. That way, I feel happy and relaxed and I can tackle my TBR pile of books.
I absolutely have those moments but haven’t looked at them in quite this way, and haven’t thought about the patterns and what they mean to my morning, or bedtime etc. It definitely seems more effective to focus on the critical moment when things can veer, rather than feeling defeated by the larger project not coming together in the time you want it to. Hopefully this can inspire some consciousness around these choices!
Up and out of bed to exercise is the only way I’ll get it done decently. Otherwise there’s lots of procrastinating or slacking off.
Grace, I want you to know your work and your blog are important to me. I gain much pleasure and peace from reading and rereading your work. My grandson is in a dark and scary place right now and expert help doesn’t seem to be effective so far. Your work helps me recenter and turn off my thoughts for awhile. A salute and thanks.
I have to admit that my entire day feels like those “moments” when things get away from me. I started my day late (sleeping well is quite the challenge), then I sat to peruse the paper and got caught up in an article on one of the medications I am now on. All the negative things that I did not know about something that has brought me blessed pain relief. So off I went into my head trying to asses what I can do to mitigate these negative effects without giving up the medication. While I did get some things done from my “to do“ list. I suppose the day wasn’t a total loss but…
Thanks for the time when the EVENT OF “RETIREMENT” came into existence! At 85 considering the many wonderful years of working in all areas of education, I now sit back and can pick and choose just what I want to do at the time. Do I want to clean,”NO”, paint (YEY!),interact with others, read, learn something new and recall most of what has been forgotten,travel, go throught family photos and so many other things. To those who don’t enjoy retirement I am sad. For those who think there will never come a time and ability to retire (keep hope alive!)
Just read the event of Dicky riding 50 miles from London in one day to deliver bad news to Dalhousie I never new what had to be done for the HORSE after that ride. Your knowledge and experiences with horses gives me so much pleasure. Praise to you and your gift of writing.
I think that I am a quite organized person and I usually accomplish what I was determined to do. But although every day has its nuances there is something that I invariably reward myself with and it is that at the end of the day, before going to sleep, I read in bed for about one hour. Sometimes the plot or the subject is so compelling that I give myself a bonus staying late a little longer.
My morning for work starts at 3am so I try to get everything ready the night before. If I wait til the morning it seems like I’m rushed and out of sync. When I get home from work I grab a cup of tea and read a few chapters in a book to decompress. I meet with a friend to walk around 12:30. I make this a priority even if I’m not feeling overly motivated that day. Knowing someone is waiting for you to show up makes all the difference. After that I get some cleaning done and prepare supper. I have been trying to establish a new habit of checking emails in the evening. It seems like if I miss a day it becomes overwhelming, so that is something I’m trying to teach myself. I’m glad you shared this blog because it really made me look at my routine that I always just take for granted. It was very interesting!