I recently visited my daughter and grandson in Portland, OR, and oh, by the way, a granddaughter is expected in May. I looked around Portland wondering, “Could I be happy here?” A merely hypothetical question, of course.
Happy is a relative term, and if I have enough good books, enough quiet to do my writing, and my pets are taken care of, I can probably be happy in a lot of places, but not all. I’ve spent enough time in San Diego, for example, to know that is not my kind of sitch. The ocean annoys me. I don’t know why, but I look at a sea vista and feel crabby. This has been true of me since childhood. The population and traffic density are intense in San Diego compared to what I handle well, and I would desperately miss my big trees.
But Portland? While visiting, I tooled up the Columbia River Gorge to meet my younger brother for a pizza in Arlington. (TERRIFIC FOOD at the Big River Pizza and Grill. The grilled cinnamon roll ought to be illegal.) The scenery along the river is mile after mile of breathtaking, and there’s Mt. Hood popping up around every third bend. Talk about big trees…
I asked myself, “What’s the best thing so far about Portland?” Why move here, in other words, other than the obvious lure of family? Welp, have you seen the Portland Rose Garden? Have you smelled the Portland Rose Garden? Then there’s the old growth forest barely fifteen minutes outside of town. And yes, it’s gloomy here at certain times of the year, but as I type this, the Pacific Northwest is not looking at any single digit temperatures thanks to the old polar vortex.
I also like the Oregon Health Plan, which is essentially universal health care. My brother moved here from Montana, expecting to continue in his self-employed endeavors, which had meant expensive, lousy coverage. Oregon offered him full coverage at exceedingly reasonable rates, and for many people with no income, full coverage is free. This is actually cheaper for the state than expecting low income citizens to make do with emergency room band aids and medical neglect.
I love my little place in Maryland, but I wouldn’t advise anybody to move there. In my county, the safety net is nearly non-existent, social trust is quite low, environmental awareness is suspect, and if I wanted to recycle anything, I’d have to drive fifteen miles one way to one of very few locations accepting recyclables and pay for a permit patronize the facility.
What I am attached to in Maryland are my memories. Dear old Augustus Cat is buried in the back yard. Pasha, Sweetie, Stretch, and Prince all spent pensioner years in the paddock across the stream. I raised my only child there and planted thousands of flowers over the decades. But if the best thing about a place is simply memories… maybe it’s time to re-evaluate?
What’s the best thing about your present address? Why would you encourage someone to move to your neck of the woods?
PS: A Gentleman of Sinister Schemes has been published in print!
The Positives
I love being able to walk to the beach. We bought a house in the neighborhood that I grew up in. Love my neighbors, we live on a dead end road so there’s not much traffic and it’s quiet here. I have lots of great memories here and my beloved corgis are buried here.
Right now my home works for me; kitchen has been remodeled, new windows (3 more to go), fenced yard and most of our projects have been completed. At some point, I’d like to retire and just enjoy.
If I were to move I’d consider moving to the Cape. Small towns and a bit more rural.
I guess it would depend if I became a grandmother- am thinking that I would want to be a part of their lives…in some way. That might be enough to get me thinking about changing things up.
Hmmm, my town was devastated by a hurricane in September, so I don’t think its a good place to move to currently. And who knows how long it will be until it is again. But normally, the hiking, the arts, the food, and the beer here are AMAZING
I, too, am considering Portland OR. Our old friend from L.A. moved there many years ago and occasionally complains it’s too liberal (for me, that’s a positive). I really wanted to move back to L.A. (as I’ve stated before) but it’s now an impossibility since the fires have put even more pressure on the housing supply and I’m too old to wait until it fixes itself. Fortunately, our family and friends still in L.A. are so far okay but we’re still worried for them.
I cannot recommend where I live (just north of Tampa) even though the weather has times when it’s really wonderful. But the hurricanes are getting worse and so are the hot summers (every year now we’re breaking the old “hottest on record” numbers). And property insurance is already among the highest in the nation and people are still getting cancelled. And I won’t even discuss the awful political climate.
I don’t require too much in a place to live as I’m basically an introvert who stays indoors but I am still trying to find some place where the weather gods are not actively trying to kill me and where adding a person or two to the landscape won’t put too much of a strain on their natural resources and infrastructure.
We carry our memories in our heads and hearts so perhaps you can be happy somewhere else.
I grew up in Brooklyn, so hustle and bustle was normal to me. My first job was in Manhattan and I got lost every day for a week as I learned to navigate the subway system. But when I married, we moved to the suburbs and we’ve moved 3 times in the last 46 years, each time to a more and more rural locale. We lived in our last house for 32 years, we raised our kids there, did huge renovations on the house and made it exactly the house we’d always wanted. Then my son moved his family 45 minutes away and suddenly the house of my dreams wasn’t! So we moved once again (hopefully for the last time!) to a house in a small town in Connecticut that we truly can grow old in, one level, no steps, accessible bathrooms, and over 2 acres of lush greenery surrounding us. Best of all, it’s 10 minutes from my son & his family. So, to me, home is where I can be near family. The down side of our little town is that other than houses, trees, deer and bears, there is NOTHING here—no restaurants, no shopping, no doctors, vets, etc., but if you like quiet, open spaces, liberal, well to do neighbors, and don’t mind driving 15 or 20 miles for everything, it’s the perfect place to be. I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. Stay safe. Stay well everyone!
I wouldn’t recommend that people move to Winnipeg: it’s much too cold and snowy in the winter. For example, right now it’s -25C (-13F) with a wind chill of -37° (-35F) which is why I’m a snowbird and escape south. On the other hand, people are friendly, housing is fairly affordable, and we have few deadly weather events, reasons why I keep returning instead of finding a warmer Canadian location.
Memories move with us, and family nearness becomes more important, whether grandchildren or not. I would move, although I love my home and backyard garden, but fortunately my only child relocated back to the affordable Midwest after years in California. I’d follow, if necessary, but stay independent.
It sounds like there are a lot of positives for you moving to be near your family – where you could see your grandson and new grand-daughter grow up, grand scenery, good food – it sounds enticing!
I live in Montgomery, Alabama, and no, I would not recommend moving here. The state has some beautiful physical features, but it is very conservative in all the worst ways.
The two best things about my house is that it is almost paid for, and it is one level and has one small step to get in and out of the house. I have two dicey knees.
Well, we are freezing right now so I wouldn’t recommend it so much in the winter, but there is a lot of natural beauty and kindness that make up for the temperatures. I can’t wait to downsize, so the house is not my reason to stay, however we do have a lovely neighborhood with most errands walkable (in good weather) which is important to me so I don’t feel isolated in a car all the time.
I was in Portland for a couple of years and it is truly a wonderful city, but I just couldn’t get used to the winters. I don’t do great not seeing the sun for months on end and always having damp (frizzy and untameable) hair (and shoes and jeans, I don’t know how I alone could never stay dry). For me, I’d rather deal with extreme cold with blue skies than months and months of drizzle. I think I may be the only one though! Maybe it is because I descend from desert people that humidity is torture.
Heavens! This is the very issue I am facing! I have lived in this house for close to 38 years. I have cared for it and babied all the old wearing out parts to make them last. Slowly I have done the things I wanted to do to make it fit my dreams or as many as I could. I did raise my two daughters here but they are both now living on the east coast. So the things that hold me are as follows:
I have a few very dear friends who I will miss terribly. I live in an area where everything I need is very close and very nice. In the area where the daughter I would go to live with is beautiful but everything is a far by comparison and rather shabby by comparison as well as overwhelmingly crowded. The house is in a beautiful area with fresh air, big trees and on a hill (which makes driving in winter an intimidating thought). The other daughter is a short flight or even a train ride away. An important thing in favor of the move is that I will be able to bring both my dogs who are my furry life support system. My general fear of change is my main problem so I really need to get over myself.
NE Ohio has no hurricanes, no wildfires, only minor earthquakes that have only occurred many years apart, no tsunami concerns. We have four distinct seasons, winter being my favorite. I could easily do without sweltering summers, over 70 degrees and I’m all A/C, thank you very much. If not for our aging parents, we might move further north. We’ve lived in the same suburban neighborhood for 15 years and I don’t know a single neighbor by name, so there’s no attachment there. I do appreciate the fact that I have groceries, pharmacy, and restaurants within minutes and that becomes more important as I age. All in all, I’m happy here, but home will always be where my husband is and that’s all that really matters.
After living in the Baltimore MD area for 30 years or so, I repatriated to my home country of Texas. Austin, specifically. This is not the Texas of my childhood for sure. It’s been more of an adjustment than I anticipated, even more so for my husband who spent all of his life in Baltimore, politically polar opposite of Texas. It’s very hot here in the summer but we have a strong belief in AC here in Texas. I’ve had lizards in my house; very exciting for the cats but would NEVER have happened in Maryland. It is no longer mission impossible to find a decent Texmex restaurant. There is a highway nearby where the legal speed limit is 85, so all the Texans are doing at least 95. As with any move you have the hassle of finding new “everything,” but I am reminded each year about the “why we did this” at Thanksgiving when my family from Dallas and Houston are at my house. And I can be at my mom’s or sister’s house in a couple hours by car “just cuz”. It has been difficult to make new friends but we are lucky to have lovely neighbors and pleasant coworkers. And perk: my husband has discovered he can purchase J.O seasoning on Amazon and live blue crabs at the Asian market to steam at home. So, he’s set.
Dear Grace,
The older I get the more I crave connection with people I love. Moving closer to family will deprive you of privacy and solitude. I guess you could ask yourself if that is a beneficial trade off for family love and the security of having loved ones close. However, that is not always without disappointment and disillusion. As a wise mentor once told me “there are no perfect solutions”. Damn. Why not?
Being alone, especially as we get older, can be a scary, but not impossible situation. I have known people who have moved closer to family who have had both good and poor results. I do believe you are as happy as you want to be. One can find a happy, productive and self satisfying life wherever they live if they desire to be happy. I would suggest weighing your relationships and loneliness factor, visit a few more times for extended lengths of time at various seasons and do what is right for you.
Grace’s comments make Oregon sound attractive! Moving to Nashville, TN was the right decision a dozen years ago, but I cannot recommend it as a choice today. Tennessee in general is a poorly-governed, poorly-funded state, and Nashville is the bright spot. But Nashville became an “It” city in the last decade, leading to rapid in-migration, sharply higher visitation and rampant and careless development. Escalating housing costs have forced middle- and lower-income new residents to the fast-growing suburbs, traffic is clogged and mass transit is non-existent. Having said all that, within a few miles of Nashville is gorgeous natural scenery. People are warm, welcoming and hospitable. It’s where we’ll stay.
I love having four distinct seasons and Lake Ontario at the bottom of my street. And living in a very walkable, historic community with lots of old trees. We’ve lived in other places like Washington, DC (too many guns) and Ottawa (too cold, and public transit is dysfunctional). I’ve been finding myself imagining living in Waterloo, ON near my daughter where there’s even better walkablity and great transit but alas no large body of water. That might be in my future, but not yet …
The best thing if being at least temporarily mortgage free!
I live where I do because of family but California has policies I love too, especially a big response to climate change and the culture of inclusivity.. I guess if I were in your shoes, I would keep my memory home and buy a home on the NorCal or south coast of Oregon.most beautiful beaches. I do like Portland except for the traffic and the drizzle and I love the fact that Oregon is less populated. Corvallis is nice too with the university.
I would go for it if I had family there, at least for a vacation home. And a new baby to cuddle and smell his neck nape.
A picture of the Portland rose gardens is my ipad home page.
I hope you do consider it. It is lovely there.
I live where I do because of family but California has policies I love too, especially a big response to climate change and the culture of inclusivity.. I guess if I were in your shoes, I would keep my memory home and buy a home on the NorCal or south coast of Oregon There are the most beautiful beaches. I do like Portland except for the traffic and the drizzle and I love the fact that Oregon is less populated. Corvallis is nice too with the university.
I would go for it if I had family there, at least for a vacation home. And a new baby to cuddle and smell his neck nape.
A picture of the Portland rose gardens is my ipad home page.
I hope you do consider it. It is lovely there.
My particular spot is on the edge of woods and is gorgeous almost all year round. (November is a bit bleak, except when we get an early snow wet enough to stick to tree branches.) Our cul de sac is quiet enough that kids, to the extent they still play outside (sigh), can play in the street. Traffic, while worse than it was when I moved here 35 years ago, is still trivial compared to Los Angeles (something of a second home for personal-history and family reasons). It’s also wet enough that we never (knocking wood) get fires beyond the range of a house or two. And we’re on the outskirts of Bloomington, IN, home to the main campus of Indiana University, which attracts many foreign students and has a world-renowned music school. When I bestir myself to drive a few miles and hunt for parking, I can go to any of innumerable inexpensive or free concerts, or eat at one of Bloomington’s many good restaurants, both “ethnic” and more homegrown.
I was surprised to learn that you are American. Your use of British English in the Lady Violet books is excellent. I am frustrated with American novelists who have their English protagonists use terms like “dove” when the past tense of “dive” in England is “dived” and the past tense of “got” is also “got” not “gotten”. Thanks for going to the trouble to getting it right.