As I was growing up, my family did not take vacations. Logistics were an issue. How do you get nine people and all their luggage into one car? How do you stop World War III from breaking out in the way-back of the station wagon? Once the big kids peeled out of formation, we did spend some summers in San Diego while my dad took sabbatical leave at UCSD or Scripps.
Those excursions were my idea of purgatory. I suspect my sainted mother would echo my sentiment. You try driving for five days each way with all those kids….
My parents did not go out on date nights either. They entertained plenty, and accepted reciprocal invitations, but the idea of indulging in personal wish list activities for a few hours with a spouse… nah. And babysitting was not an issue by the time I came along. The older kids got stuck with that chore.
Why is this on my mind? Because I am happy to report that Lord Julian’s tenth tale, A Gentleman in Possession of Secrets, is complete in draft. Yay, yippee, yahoo, and gaudeamus igitur! This moment in the writing process, when the manuscript is complete in draft, is nonetheless always a little fraught for me. On the one hand, I feel great relief. I know once I have the first draft, I can make a book out of it. Phew!
But on the other hand… now what I am supposed to write? I am not an author who has stories ideas coming out my ears. Every time I stare at a blank screen, I fret that I’ve written my last book, and the house is not paid off. (I also want to see Alaska.) I need to come up with a really juicy premise immediately so I can get back to work!
That maybe, for a couple of weeks or so, I am NOT supposed to write, strikes me as preposterous. Writing is what I do. I am a writer. I love to write. The idea that I will create better books if I focus instead on my flower beds right now feels like blasphemy and darned risky. To suggest that I will come up with a really interesting pair of protagonists if I test ride some lease horses. (Did I just write that!?) feels absurd.
What is really absurd is not knowing how to take a break, Grace Ann.
I’m pretty good a micro-indulgences, like the perfect cup of tea, a bouquet of yard flowers, or good book, but I have fallen out of the habit of travel to Scotland or Ireland, big writing retreats, or transcontinental road trips. The pandemic has something to do with my narrowed appetite for rejuvenation, but looking at my parents, I suspect the Depression, the Potato Famine and even the Siege of Derry (1689) might figure into the mix too. (Uncle Henry was a royalist.)
So I went flower shopping, and tonight I put in my whole bed of impatiens. It’s a start. The next big idea hasn’t come to me yet, but I still have the blue salvia, perennial lavender, rosemary, and sunflowers to go.
Who showed you that it’s good to take breaks, to go on the occasional frolic, to have fun on purpose? Or is the value of goofing off a premise you’re still testing?
This is a premise that was still testing before I developed an illness that is leaving me bedbound. My fun this week was ordering a plant online that IN THEORY will arrive ready for display once unboxed by my spouse. My frolics has become very circumscribed.
Bed-bound sounds miserable. I wish you a smooth and speedy recovery, and if that’s not possible, a hoard of really great books and puzzles to help pass the time.
When I finish a project; work, house, yard or surgery (am viewing them as projects), I take a break.
I might watch something on Netflix, take a shirt walk, or read.
I put a lot of mental energy into these projects and downtime is needed. I started to sort through paperwork and too big clothing. I will feel better when these projects are finished. Am reading , too. I bought a couple of the earlier Lord Julian books and they are on the TBR pile. He’s not the typical hero but, he’s such a great character.i like him and enjoy his adventures.
Enjoy the week!
You remind of some excellent advice I was given when a truly scary stressor at work finally eased. A wise friend told me: Clean off your desk. Get rid of all the old clutter and the associations it carries. Start with a clean work surface, decorate it with flowers, and move ON.
She was sooooo right.
Congratulations on a draft well done!
Thanks–it IS a good feeling!
I grew up in a family of 5 children with a father who was a sergeant in the Air Force. We didn’t take vacations. The closest was when we lived in southern Georgia and would take a weekend trip to visit my grandparents (my Dad was a Tampa native and his family has been in central Florida for generations) or when Dad was transferred to another base that we drove to. I actually used my vacation time from my job when I was working on my Master’s degree to work on semester projects. I think I’ve only taken 4 real vacations in my life.
But, I also never “lived to work” and had jobs where I was home by 6 and didn’t have to think about work until the next day. So I have had plenty of breaks and relaxation time and now that I’m retired, I have even more. I would love to travel but I’m going to have to wait until they figure out how to send my molecules somewhere instantaneously (“Beam me up, Scotty” for sure). Dealing with the current state of travel seems too stressful. I happily take my vacations in the world of books.
I also feel as if I’m not as in need of vacations because I love my job, I set my own hours, I work from the home I’ve considered my haven for decades… what’s to vacation FROM? And yet, a change of scene does sometimes get the creativity re-charged.
I was a farmers daughter, so no vacations, ever.. You can’t go on vacation when there are 23 cows to be milked by hand twice a day. And other live stock to look after. But that doesn’t mean to say life was dull. There were Friday nite movies, Barn dances, Card parties, Sunday dinners with friends. Sunday baseball games.. Even after I got married , my husband thought vacations were a waste of money. I tossed him out after 7 years and took a vacation on my own to Scotland…
I’m discovering that moving the body moves the cogitation (or at least wakes the bats in my belfry!), making ideas percolate & occasional flashes of genius occur. Somewhere between multiple loads of laundry, sanitizing multiple porcelain thrones, & transplanting green stuff, answers come to mind. If all else fails, a bingeing marathon of random documentaries on YouTube ranging from archaeology to chateau renovations to luxury makeup reviews feeds whatever is germinating in the back of my head & I find myself pausing the video to write cryptic notes to myself or research a “what if…?”
Unfortunately my rosemary plants will have to wait mid-transplant until our record-breaking heatwave drops below triple digits. Not even the prospect of standing under a sprinkler will induce me to fill pots with manure in this heat. But… I have a book to finish involving horse racing & nefarious deeds courtesy of that famous author lady. *wink* Bring on the icy drinks, the fan aimed at the reading chair, & snacks so I don’t have to get up except for visitations of that sparkling clean porcelain.
I have 5 children, all now grown and gone, and a husband who worked 80 hours a week. How I would have loved to be one of the characters in your books with maids, cooks, housekeepers and governesses! As it was, we would drive to the beach 7 hours away for a week each summer, not really a vacation for me, just a change of scenery. Still, it was fun. With no family around, nights out were rare, forget about vacations away from the children. I survived, we all survived, and now it is just the 2 of us – sheer bliss! Perhaps the past is why I so enjoy the present and look forward to the future, and “grow old with me” has really proven to be very lovely.
Congratulations on the finished book! I must admit I am very fond of Lord Julian, and will often reread one of his stories when I need a little cheer, so keep up the good work! I bet I am not alone in looking forward to each new book!
Thank you so much for brightening my life!
Congrats on the “Secrets” draft, Grace.
I used to teach full time and tutored part time and still did a lot of machine and hand quilting in addition to reading daily. Now that I’m retired from the first two, reading, researching new books to read and goofing off seem to take all my time. While I’m great at purchasing fabric and coming up with ideas, somehow that beautiful material never even makes an appearance on my work table. And I seem to be more than okay with that.
PS ~ Hope you’re able to attend the next conference on your list.
Ever since I started working full time out of college, I have appreciated the weekends and holidays. More like revered them. Getting out of the work rut for a day or two is precious and not to be disparaged.
I am anxious to see what Lord Julian is up to next. Hopefully, he’ll get to take some ease in the country after working on “cases.”
Oh, my gosh! I don’t know where to start with all you mentioned this week!
However, what has most jumped out at me is your difficulty with anything more than your “micro-indulgences.” Not two hours ago, my husband (who had his second total hip replacement about 6 weeks ago) was fretting because he felt he was being “lazy.” I guess I’m in big trouble, then, if being lazy doesn’t count buying 16 pieces of lumber, moving them to the garage, taking me to a dental appointment and then coming to get me when I called, cleaning and replacing the cat box, taking two large bags of trash out to the curb … oh, you get the idea. I need to teach that lovely man that breaks are wonderful.
Flower shopping is a delightful way to take a break. You go, girl!
I am amazed to admit that it was my father. I really don’t want to go into the sad facts but trust me, it was surprising to realize. I can tell you we had a water fight once while working in the backyard vegetable garden, we once camped from Michigan across the northern states (saw bear cubs at Grand Teton Nat’l Park) hit CA at Berkeley and headed south to LA & Disney Land – I think this was right after DL first opened. I remember a cool travel chess set but nothing about how my sister & I got along.
Anyway, I have a brown thumb, but I can goof off for hours with my dogs. And visiting friends + laughing is high on my list. Reading is always a good idea.
PS- just finished My One & Only Duke, so if I missed it, please tell me where to find Joshua Penrose’s HOA.
I attended a talk by Baroness Greenfield of the UK who emphasised that it was imperative, particularly for children, to have time out to dream,imagine,be bored, in order to fully develop Neuroplasticity. In “The Burrow” Melanie Cheng writes that, after a family crisis”…he’d been waiting for this day for a long time, perhaps forever….An interlude. Time to breathe. A space of his own in which to think”
Give yourself permission to do nothing and just….drift.
Work, work, work is all well and good but it’s exhausting. And who benefits? I may get a paycheck, however, I realize that as good I am at a job, there is someone else in this world who could probably do it as well, if not better. I am a writer as well and I take time to do fun/relaxing/new/exciting things because I think they make me a better writer. Where will my favorite character go next? Why Suzie, you had a blast in Israel and you’ve got enough memories, notes and photos to come up with a great adventure. What about the cottage on the island in Wisconsin? There’s got to be a mystery to be uncovered among the pines. Or how about the interesing-looking person sitting across the room at the coffee shop? What’s their story? Downtime lets the mind wander and what interesting ideas come when it does.