I am not one to give up on a book I’m reading, but I recently set aside a biography of Frederick Douglass. It was well written, wonderfully researched, compelling, fascinating, and really, really sad. That guy struggled his whole life for a just cause–struggled to the very limits of his human endurance–and saw only inadequate progress, all but thrown away almost as soon as it was won, and now we’re backsliding on that progress again at warp speed. For my nighty-nighty reading, I am not up to the challenge of absorbing that content.
The material is important, and I will finish the book, but it cannot be my bedtime reading.
Bedtime reading, from the time I was in grade school, has been for detaching from the day, going to a place where justice triumphs, truth and courage carry the day, and love conquers all (by the end of the book). It takes about twenty minutes for a good story to reduce our stress by nearly two thirds, improve our sleep quality, enhance our vocabulary, broaden our capacity for empathy, and fortify the neural wiring that supports our capacity for critical thinking.
I need that kind of bed time reading. I also need to get my hands in the dirt. We are one third of the way through May, and I am way behind with my annuals. Playing catch up will be excellent stress reduction, and when I see the dahlias, impatiens, and geraniums all over the property, I will be very glad I spent that time out in the fresh air and sunshine. I might even bust over and get some hanging baskets.
I need to walk where it’s green and growing, in nature, such as old farmland still makes that claim. I found a woods to walk in near the horse barn, and I will be making time to stop there again as the need for shady paths grows in the coming weeks.
I need to be around animals. Domestic animals, especially, and I like seeing wild animals going about their business too. My particular friends are cats and horses, but I am very fond of dogs, bunnies, birds in the wild, and cows. (Raccoons, not so much.)
As a therapist once said to me, “If you need it to be happy, you need it.” These are elements of my life I need to be functional and happy–good bed time reading, flower gardening, walks in nature, beasts. And how wonderful for me, I can have them all right now, and that has made much of the present tumult bearable.
What simple, available measures are helping you keep your balance these days?
PS: A print version of A Gentleman of Modest Ambitions is available from Amazon. I will do the Ingram Spark print version too, but that takes a few weeks to process, and is always more expensive than the Amazon edition (blast, darn, and phooey).
I, too, get happy looking at flowers and other signs of spring, though I don’t have to be outside with them. I have scaled back on my news watching, generally only checking on tomorrow’s weather if I have an appointment to go out in it. And, of course, I am reading. I’m currently in a historical mystery phase, partially brought about by your mention of Tessa Arlen, whose books I then read and enjoyed, so thank you. I’m currently on book 11 of the Thomas and Charlotte Pitt mysteries by Anne Perry that I came to through her Daniel Pitt series. While there is a murder, of course, there are also lots of descriptions of the terrible poverty and equally terrible wealth in London. It is hard to read sometimes but it helps me to know it’s describing the past (though similar conditions are still around today, unfortunately). Now that I think about it, I’m not sure how I keep my balance but maybe it’s by compartmentalizing them, or probably by immediately plunging into the next book that has different problems.
I’m doing some Thomas and Charlotte Pitt too, and what I like is that he and she have separate spheres, but they share a love, and somehow they sleuth together, though it’s often from separate angles. Victorian London was surely not for the faint of heart. If ever there was an argument against urbanization, that was it.
I read before bed, too.
I am reading Mary Balogh’s Survivor series… on Flavin’s story now.
If life is stressful, I pick up a favorite read.. your Nicholas has been read several times.
I have a cup of tea Trader Joe’s Well Rested or simply pat Greg.
Am trying to walk 4-5 days a week.
And to eat better- more veggies, yogurt .. seems to help.
We’ve had a lot of rain this week.. looking forward to blue skies this week!
I loved the Survivor series, but nothing will displace the Slightly’s for reeling me into a tale with that inexorable, Mary Balogh instinct for pacing and tension. She is an absolute master of the genre!
“saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.” Luke 19:42 KJV
I am working on finding new things that make me happy as some of the old ones are no longer feasible. It’s a challenge. I’m a tad bitter about some of the things that are beyond me now.
A tad bitter is mandatory when grieving, methinks. If only for a time. Wishing you new joys, even sweeter than the ones now out of reach.
As always, despite it being hard, exercise keeps me balanced. Particularly outdoors exercise as the nature helps – birds, trees, gardens. A nice sit in the sunshine with a cup of coffee and a book is good too!
I’m getting even sicker, and keeping my balance is getting harder. Practicing gratitude and meditation are what I’m leaning on the hardest right now, I think.
I, too, have enjoyed the Thomas & Charlotte Pitt series and learned a lot about life in London through Anne Perry’s and more authors descriptions and I agree that it is a hard option for some bedtime reading.
Grace, thank you for the ARC! Wonderful bedtime – and anytime – reading!
Thank you for the ARC & console yourself that the Ingram Spark covers & binding tend to be superior to Amazon’s slap it together versions.
Besides our Grace in audio form via Langton’s lovely voice, I’m treading my treadmill & thrilled I can do that again.
Extreme drought my way, so I’ve postponed greenery for this year. My rose bushes are being denuded by ravenous deer doing without fodder & welcome to my plants if developers insist on clear cutting everything in sight.
Trading efforts & safe places to vent with a good friend is keeping the both of us what passes for sane. My pen pal surfaced in Texas & sent her new address, so that’s a meditative art for both of us. Watching a fountain pen nib glide across quality paper on a luscious shade of ink soothes the soul.
If all else fails, I stalked eBay for used CDs of meditations with peaceful music. Doing the breathing & focusing, whether on me or infinite space calms the mind, lowers the blood pressure, & forces the world to darned well leave a message because Madam is NOT receiving.
Morning reading in bed with my beloved almond milk cocoa is always a peaceful start to my day as is my mid-day latte.
Bedtime reading is always a joy though I find I fall asleep too quickly or, the very opposite: I read till 3:00 a.m. or later which messes with the next day.
And my gratitude practice keeps growing and growing helping me to stay peaceful.
I’m wanting to get back to walking and I’m hoping Susan’s and Cindy’s examples will motive me.
Lastly, I’m very grateful for your ARCs. Modest Ambitions is next on my TBR list.
I have discovered the joy of watching the birds go about their lives around me. I don’t go anywhere to find them, I don’t know much about them, but I feel a drop in stress watching them in my yard. I love to walk in nature but there are different things to see while standing still. I don’t know if it the pausing, the antics of the birds, or the focusing outside of myself but I need those peaceful moments.
Before bed I need to read something soothing, it helps me sleep better and sounder. If I am reading something heavy I will usually swap out a favorite book of yours for bedtime. That way I know what is going to happen so there is zero tension and I feel like I’m visiting old friends.
Nature, sunshine, dirty hands, a little sweat always makes life more manageable. In today’s busy life I wish we could all manage time outside
Gardening is a biggie, especially now. I’ve got almost all of my annuals and summer bulbs in, and about half the seeds and none of the vegetables that go in the narrow strip in the alley, but I’ll get there. Even watering is relaxing, but the best thing is going in the back yard and just sitting there admiring things. It’s taken me over ten years to get it okay, and now it looks good, just in time for me to get a hip operation this summer. Then, I won’t be able to do much except stroll up the alley and pick tomatoes. Which will be a fine thing to do in August.
My cat helps me keep sane too. And I’ve been taking her outside on a harness and leash so she doesn’t disappear and try to cross any busy streets during rush hour. She’s decided the thing she loves best outside is for me to pick her up and cuddle her while she watches birds fly. That’s fine with me. Sitting in a garden with a purring cat is one of the heights of contentment.
In the evening I get a lot of great semi-junk literature from Kindle Unlimited, but I also read some decent stuff too, from them or the library (yay libraries!). At night I like cheerful fantasy books and other books with humor in them like regencies, other romances, and shifter romance. I also read mysteries and science fiction, and I’ve discovered a couple of pretty great D & D type science fiction titles. So, junk and semi-junk, because there isn’t enough stuff that I like that is good, cheerful bedtime reading that’s published through the usual channels. I read my book club books during the day, or improving fiction or non-fiction if there’s something I feel like I really need to read. Right now in book club we’re reading one ghastly but well reviewed dystopian novel that’s nothing but non-stop anxiety.
And what a blessing it is to find a new great series.
Thank God you’re letting us post anonymously. It’s embarrassing to admit to the stuff I read just to keep my head together!
There’s also good friends and good art and good TV too, especially documentaries, but it’s late and I’m typed out, so this will have to do.
I would love to walk in the trees, especially if I was near a lake. Unfortunately I live in the desert and am facing another scorching summer. I would love to return to my home town in Michigan. Alas, I no longer have a support system available. So I watch the east coast nearer to my children and grandchildren for a miracle opportunity that I can afford.
It looks like I will be able to move to the retirement community where my sister lives, alas giving up on the woods & water … as soon as my dogs age enough to slow way down (cats are much easier).
I never read a new book at bedtime. I always have a re-read by my bed so that I know I will enjoy it and not get any surprises that will prevent my sleeping well.
I have found that as I get older I have learned what makes me happy and that, like you Grace, I need to make sure I have those things/make time for those things in my life.
Animals and books my whole life have kept me sane in the struggle against anxiety and depression. Throw in films and tv series—especially great British crime series like Dept Q. Stories and art and design sustain me. When I was a child, it was our cats, dogs, goats, horses, ponies and cows that gave me comfort. Our ancient barn filled with golden dust motes and the smell of hay was my church, plus our seventy acres of blessed silence and nature allowed me the freedom to roam and dream on horseback. Now it’s our one dog, five cats and two acres that sustain me. And my daughter. Your books are a fine medicine, and I look forward to the next one.