I was well into adulthood before I understood how much my mother used movement, activity, doing stuff, to manage her emotions. Rage, anxiety, frustration, love… for Mom, all of it was expressed in action. She was infamous for visiting her adult children and re-arranging entire rooms of furniture without a nod in the direction of asking permission.
She cooked as if the Foreign Legion were in town and short of rations, and her house was always tidy. In later life–I mean her mid-80’s–when she had only one house and my dad to look after, she took three and four mile walks six days a week, and those routes had a lot of hills.
Welp, I did not get those energizer bunny genes. I (and I alone in my family) got the genes that make me a champion sitter-downer. Younger authors ask me the secret to my productivity and I want to say to them, “I have a natural capacity for physical sloth.” It helps that I like words too, though truly, my mother could not have endured the amount of sitting I do to get a book written.
But I know the road to senility is paved with comfy chairs, so I do try to get in a certain number of steps every day, and I do try to sit on a horse occasionally. I look after my flowers and so forth. But even the piddly little exertions I achieve are no fun (with the exception of horseback riding) and never get any easier.
So I have to be cagey about coaxing myself out of my writing chair. “C’mon, Grace. You just wrote a great rough draft of a scene. Lunch time has come and gone. Time to go for a toddle!”
I don’t wanna go for a toddle.
“Now, now. You don’t want to go to the home for feeble-minded authors any sooner than you have to, so up and at ’em Gracey-poo.”
I went for a danged toddle yesterday, and don’t call me Gracey-poo, Sister Mary Grace.
This goes on nigh daily, but of late, after a very sedentary winter, I scrounge up the self-regard to go for a walk, provided that me, my inner cranky toddler, and I agree that it’s to be a short walk. This is when the real strategy kicks in. I get started, and it’s not awful to walk my neighborhood, in fact it’s very pretty and peaceful. Long about when I can see the agreed-upon turn around point (a mere one thousand steps from my mailbox), the dialogue resumes.
“You did it. You got up and boogied, and this is wonderful of you. But you know, it’s only a couple more telephone poles to the bottom of the hill, and it is downhill, and there’s no headwind. Why not just do a couple more telephone poles?”
I walk to the bottom of the hill, and then the next two telephone poles are a level stretch, so why not do that too, and then it’s only two more telephone poles to the cross-roads…
By keeping my initial expectations very low, and jollying myself along by inches, I get in at least a thirty-minute walk, including some hills. If I said to myself, “You will walk two miles after the daily writing session. Three, two, one…” No walk would happen. Ask me how I know that.
Do you resort to self-management strategies? Offer yourself rewards or make bargains with your inner I-don’t-wanna? Do tell!
I have to chivvy myself into taking frequent breaks, as I figure out how to deal with a new severe chronic health condition. It is… NOT EASY! I’m using to doing, doing, doing constantly. I miss my health!
I have always been spent more time worrying and dreading doing a task that the actual time required to just complete it! This applies to doing dishes and doing exercise and other tasks I don’t want to do. It’s bad enough that I have the “Sunday afternoon” syndrome (I don’t know if it has a name but that’s how I think of it) where I worried starting Sunday afternoon about having to go to work on Monday (kinda made Sunday afternoons/evenings not much fun). Now I do that on the nights before the days I have to do my hardest exercises. The exercises aren’t really too hard but it’s knowing I need to do them at all. I think I’m just contrary.
I have finally reached a point where I just give myself a lecture and do it. I tell myself “it’s not really that hard” and “you’re retired and there isn’t anything else on your schedule for the next half hour” and “once you’ve done it, you can forget it for almost 48 hours.” It hasn’t stopped the pre-worrying but I am at least doing things I have to. I wish I had matured enough not to have to go through with all this but here we are (or at least I am). And, just in case I want to slack off, I have reminders in my calendar that bug me until I’ve completed the task (that helps, too).
My treadmill time is done while watching YouTube videos. This ploy is so successful that I have to set the timer to keep from overdoing & needing to haul out the achey body goo to slather on my overhauled joints & veins.
I’ve also found a stuck brain reacts favorably to getting up & knocking out a chore or two before plopping my empennage back in the keyboard chair. Enhanced creativity + completed job jar activity… what’s not to love?
Failing all else, I grant myself a skip day & run errands to get out of the house. Supplies for eating this month? ✅ A little self maintenance with outlet makeup for cheap at the Cosmetic Company Store? 6 items for $60 & I have my going out in public face bought for the coming months at a bodacious sale price ✅ I flop down to binge watch YouTube, knowing my brain & body will wake up tomorrow raring to go after a day off. And all that lovely meandering up & down aisles counts ✅
I, too, am a sitter-downer!! I do not have the excuse that I can write fantastic
award winning superb books as you do!!! I love love love your books & cannot wait
until your next book arrives!! I love reading (usually until the wee hours) opera
DVDs (Wagner is favourite) & classical music & patchwork. All such activities are
“sit-down”!!!!! And have no interest in going “walkabout”!!! And I know that I should
get “active”!!!!!! Yuk!!!
This is how I coax myself into washing the cups that cannot be put into the dishwasher. One lid and straw at a time, lol.
If I drink coffee after 9:30 am, I won’t sleep that night.
I love me 2 cups of coffee in the morning. So I have to tempt myself out of bed with the alarm. “If you don’t get up now, only 1 coffee for you my girl”. If that doesn’t work, “you’re going to have a withdrawal headache all day and get nothing done”.
That generally does the trick.
After the 1st cup I can find my way to the fridge for breakfast and my 2nd cup. Job done. Now start my day.
Oh definitely! Sloth should have been my middle name. I can sit absolutely still for HOURS, reading and cogitating. I have to bribe myself with little rewards for doing chores around the house and going to the gym. I tell myself like you do with your walks OK, just do 10 minutes on the elliptical. And once I have started, well maybe 20,and then 30 and done. Then I have to do the flabby arm weight exercises and I say oh it’s only ten minutes and then you can go home. Really, such a child!!! All winter long the bribes have been a muffin or a piece of cake, but now that it’s spring and I am emerging from hibernation I see that I have gained 15 pounds, so I am going to have to come up with non-caloric rewards. Good thing your next books are coming out soon.
My inner “don’t wanna” is more a pushed up pile of procrastinations. I do walk in the morning (long time habit, have to keep the dog active) also, here has a nice view, mostly good weather, wildflowers in the bar ditch, etc. However, things like cleaning house, bills, taxes get pushed off to the last minute, (until they make it onto the white board), though watering the plants, yard work & outdoor stuff gets priority & happens easier. It seems like when I was busier, and had less time, I got more done- now I’m ok with just getting a couple of chores/anything’s done each day.
I pick my “thing” for the day and try to be content with just that. Sometimes it’s getting dressed for a few hours.
And I picked up an absolutely lovely Latin expression “solvitur ambulando,” solved by walking, for those of you who actually do make it out the door!
For the past year I’ve been using a fitness tracker and app to monitor my fitness, to collect and evaluate data. It’s quite motivating, and helps me maintain consistency. It’s like keeping a diary of sorts. And physical activity helps with managing stress and anxiety.
There are many parameters that can be tracked. I’ve picked a few, such as cardiovascular activities and sleep. Next up, using weights to increase my muscle mass, and tracking this via body composition changes.
I commend you for your efforts towards building health, and applaud your successes. It sounds like you have a lovely place to experience spring!
I know myself too well to try to resort to bribes. If I don’t want to do something at that moment, nothing is going to change my mind. I am stupid stubborn!
I absolutely resort to self management strategies. It is easier to make myself go on a walk than it used to be since we’ve got a healthy and energetic young dog. When my husband is in town, the dog gets at least 3 walks a day. When my husband is out of town for work, he usually gets 2 walks, but that second walk is much easier to find something else that needs to be done. Sometimes I go the reward route. After all, if I burn more calories, I can eat more – right?
Sadly for myself, my inertia seems to mostly win out over any sort of internal cajolery, though I think a lot of that is that I have no good place to walk in my current house. I’m on a 4-house (fairly close together) dirt road, T-ing into a US Highway. The next house will be a lot better. Suuuuper long drive way, to a low-traffic dirt road connecting right to the VAST trail system (assuming I get that enthusiastic about things). Even in mud season, I’ll be able to walk the driveway, though the road is a bit of a bog for a while.
Just reading about your “work around the sitting urge” and understanding it totally. I like that such a plan works for you and I am determined to put it in play tomorrow! Wish me luck.