I am reading a lovely little book, Your Brain on Altruism, which examines our impulse to aid and support one another. This noble urge arises in some of us (many of us) in the aftermath of disasters, when a reversion to amoral survival functioning might be more understandable.
The author, Nicole Karliss, is a health and science journalist who has had intimate and sometimes harrowing experience with California’s wildfires. As she covered one disaster after another, she was struck by the generosity of spirit that many of the fire’s victims displayed in the immediate wake of the devastation. A few turned their altruism into a vocation, because they found the sheer joy of making a meaningful contribution too fulfilling to put aside.
I dunno about wild fires–lucky me–but I know that at the horse barn, I have had a taste of group volunteering and to my shock, it has been wonderful. My basic attitude toward most groups is, they are troublesome at best and dangerous at worst. Groups make noise and commotion and intrude on one’s solitude. They go careening over the sides of cliffs on the strength of ideological inertia or because there’s a blue light special on plasma TVs in aisle four. When it comes to groups, for the most part, I’d rather not.
Clearly, I have some issues, or maybe some biases rooted in experience. In any case, at Loudoun Therapeutic Riding, one morning every week is devoted to an adaptive riding session for kids consigned to a local residential treatment facility (aka foster children). They have to earn the privilege of joining the equine program, but in truth it is a privilege to work with them. The volunteers who sign on know they are expected to make a continuing commitment, because these children have had enough of adults disappearing from their lives without notice.
So we show up, and whether staff is delayed by traffic or on hand early, we know what’s expected of us. Get out the mandala board, fill water bottles, assemble tack for the assigned horses, if there’s time we might do a pre-groom for any equines who indulged in a recent mud bath. The kids show up and we move into the next phase of the morning. We have protocols to follow unique to our program, along with inside jokes, informal routines, and a little check out ritual that can turn into an interesting postmortem,
Much of the work is something of a slog, but the bigger picture is a chance to make a real difference that I alone could not effect. A chance to develop relationships with stout-hearted people I would never have met otherwise. A chance to do collaborative problem-solving with a diverse and friendly gang who share at least some of my values. A chance to learn from others, some of whom have been at the horse game or the volunteer game or the dodgy-hip game for a very long and interesting time.
And then there’s the plain old sense of camaraderie.
I came across this wonderful experience of a group pulling together for a good cause much earlier in life–in college–but I thought that was maybe rose-colored hindsight on my part, a fluke of youth and optimism and the wonderful freedom of my pre-full-time employment years. But here I am again, enjoying a sense of community, purpose, and joy, and these are apparently very common experiences in group volunteer situations.
Have you enjoyed some overwhelmingly positive group experiences? What made them so special? What inspired you to give that group a try?
This sounds delightful, Grace. Rewarding, and so nourishing to the soul.
I haven’t found anything like this yet. Someday, perhaps, if I am not housebound again in the future. A lovely dream to have.
That sounds wonderful for you, Grace, and I’m happy it is so.
I don’t know if it’s growing up in a big family (I know you had one, too) but with family get-togethers always numbering 30-40 people and my intense desire to be left alone, I have not done any other group experiences. I know I should and that it’s good for my mental health and maybe my physical health, too, and maybe one day I’ll take the plunge. For now, I just happily read about other people (real and not) doing these sorts of things. I’d say I’m in my “selfish era” (nod to TS) but I’ve kind of been this way for a very long time (maybe the length of an actual era).
I spent a few years as a member of a volunteer run public library association. It was rewarding, as you say. The volunteers filled most of the library roles, including maintenance and shifts at circulation. The volunteer role has evolved into a fund-raising group, its work mostly meetings. I loathe meetings. On the other hand, the public library is now in a position to pay a trained librarian and staff.
I look at some of these groups with wariness having had my fill of meetings that were actually conducted elsewhere with just certain members and whose main purpose is fundraising. I’d rather muck stalls.
I volunteer for two groups. One does tech support for seniors and one speaks English to high school students in Israel so they are more comfortable speaking for the one minute in their English exam. I have had a modern orthodox student and an Arab student in the English overseas program. I have had seniors with some dementia and seniors who want to organize thousands of photos on the tech side. We taught zoom during the pandemic and people still stop me on the street to thank me. Volunteering is truly very rewarding.
I just got back from he Future Problem Solving World Finals. There is a paid staff of about 8, but the conference for 2500+ 4th – 12th graders is run every year by volunteers. The kids are great, the volunteers are amazing. And learning to cooperatively solve problems is great for everyone!
I have had some amazing group experiences and have felt for some time that a group that has true solidarity will always produce a stronger result than any individual possibly could. I have always tried to savor those times even though I find myself mostly living a solitary life.
Grace, that sounds like a wonderful experience! I am with you in the general avoidance of groups, but I volunteer in hospice and while I am usually one on one with a hospice patient, the meetings and gatherings of fellow volunteers is very nourishing for me. I’ve done a bunch of volunteering at my kids’ schools and that kind of thing but the hospice group is a special experience. Of course the one on one volunteering is very fulfilling and I enjoy it greatly, but the group is a different type of beneficial, I’m glad to have both.
What a happy experience to be having with your young foster children, Grace. And so rewarding for them and you.
I feel like that when I’m singing in my church choir – all of us working together to make beautiful music.
PS ~ So happy to see that Lord Julian’s audiobooks will be coming to my local library!
I cannot remember a time that I was not involved in one volunteer group or another. I was blessed to have a stay-at-home mom who could facilitate (read – be the taxi driver) getting me where I needed to be. Early on it was with the Red Cross at tornado relief sites or Girl Scout meetings and outreach. During my career, the tone and time allowance changed, but there was always some way to make a difference. Being a helper gave me joy even when life got hard. Now that I’m semi-retired, I have more time to share and am involved with several outreach projects through my church. United Methodists are known for their casseroles and their work gloves. We also see the value in joining our efforts together for a bigger impact. And the joy is still there.
Most of my volunteer experience has been in churches and it’s all been positive, whether it’s a one-time event or a longer commitment.
I have volunteered at a therapeutic equine center and loved every minute of it until I had to stop due to health issues. I miss it: the work, the people, the clients, and especially the horses. And the ponies!
I was urged repeatedly by a good friend to join her in working with soon-to-be-paroled female prison inmates. The program we deliver is “Better Decisions,” a 40-year old initiative to enable the women to learn and practice strong decision-making skills as they reenter ‘normal’ life. Each volunteer mentor is assigned to an inmate. Originally, we were intended to meet 1 on 1 with our assigned person, but the prison administration dictated that we all meet as a group at a specified time. Thus the mentors and inmates meet once a week over 10 weeks as we work through the highly interactive program. We have been astounded at the wisdom, support and kindness shared among the volunteers and the women we are mentoring. After each session I reflect on how readily the women offer insights, build on one another’s ideas and all contribute to the discussion of making good decisions in an environment fraught with risks for newly released women. I have learned as much as I have taught, and I am humbled and grateful to be involved in this effort.